Without my child

I can't explain the sadness that seeps over you when the lights go out at night. I watch my son peacefully sleeping and I have a million thoughts running through my head. I know that in two nights he won't be with me. He will be with his daddy and I will be alone. I've never been without my child for longer than a night and a day. In fact, for the first year of his life we never went a night a part. Now I'm facing three nights and three days with him. How am I going to cope?

I haven't let myself get upset until at night when no one is around but me and my sadness. I don't want to worry my parents. I haven't told many friends, maybe two, and definitely not co-workers. It's a very private matter. Being separated is exactly how it sounds. You're heart is separated from everything you love and know. You're other "half" is not there so it is very difficult to function.

Working on myself will help- no doubt. I realize praying, keeping my faith, working towards peace within my family will make this terribly sad situation better. But only God knows how long it will take or what the outcome will be. What I do know is that no matter how sad, lost, lonely, or heart broken I may be....there must be a reason for all of this. I have to believe something good will come out of it. Rationalizing why you won't see your beloved child for three days...it's nearly impossible. I'm trying really hard to do it though.