What is the Lord's plan for ME?

I've been thinking about this question a lot lately, What is the Lord's plan for me? How does he want to use me on this earth? It can't possibly be for security- I know that because it does not feel right. Security is not my purpose in life, it's a pay check, simple as that. So if my current job, the one that pays my bills gives me no satisfaction then what the heck will?

I've asked God this on many occasions. He may have answered me but I'm just not looking in the right places. My friend Katie asked me, "What is one thing you did as a child that you could get lost in doing because you were so happy?" EEK! I have no idea?? I mean I loved sports, dancing to my Dirty Dancing Soundtrack, and playing make believe? Does that mean I should be an athlete/dancer/actress? I doubt it. The only answer I could give her was that I really liked being a part of Young Life in high school. Young Life was fulfilling for me. It introduced me to the Lord, gave me confidence, strength, friends, and happiness. I was a part of a group that was based around loving God and doing good for other people. I will always say that being part of the Rockbridge work crew YL Camp was one of the best experiences of my life.

If I wanted to take YL to the next level it's possible I could work for them full time. I could be that mentor, YL leader, who makes a difference in people's lives. I want to be that awesome speaker who tells my story, hoping that maybe one person will be affected in a positive, maybe life changing way. But is that my calling? Or is that just a nice idea that will eventually get pushed aside like the rest of my ideas. How do I know when to actually go for it? When will I know that this is the right fit for me?

I intend to keep praying about it. I intend to ask God- please lead me in the right direction- show me what you want me to do for you. I know one thing, I need FAITH, in myself. I'm scared. It's true. I'm scared about what I want to do with my life as far as a job....and where I want to live. I know Joe and I want to leave the South- but to where? Where is home for us? Everyone says, it's where you find a job. Well, duh! But I don't even know what job to apply for. This is the ugly cycle that I'm stuck in. So if anyone has any suggestions as to what I should do, or if you would like to pray for me and my husband, please do because I need the help.

Until then...security in Alabama will have to do and I will keep dreaming up my crazy ideas!